However, for now.....let's cut to the chase, shall we? I have a Physics 2 final on 12/20, but I am in no way prepared for it. So rather than diligently studying from now until then. I am watching NFL games on my computer. In the next 10 minutes I plan on doing the following:
1. get food I am thinking.... McDonald's and Wawa??
2. take a shower and then watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta
3. study downstairs in a 50 minute study + 10 minute break pattern (my therapist recommends that... so I'm just going with it)
Back in the day, I could study round the clock, get by on little sleep, and do well. This is no longer something I can do. So I won't sabotage myself by even trying that. Come to think of it.... I haven't been able to effectively do that in over 5 years. More importantly, it is just plain DUMB to do this..... cramming is not learning, but seeing as how I have less than 48 hours to study for this final... it is what it is.
My lack of action up to this point is puzzling to say the least since I am 100% sure that I failed Organic Chemistry 1(The final was a couple of days ago. I don't have the final grade, but I can do the math).
So how do I go from getting an A in Biology 1 in Summer 2010 to a B+ in Calculus I, B+ in Chem Lab, A in Prep Chem in the Fall of 2010 to straight A's in the Spring 2011 semester (Chem 1, Physics 1, Physics 1 Lab, and a computer class) to declining into B+, B, and C (A&P 1, A&P2, and Chem 2 respectively) this past summer to getting a for sure F and heaven knows what else this semester?!! There is always a story behind every struggle.
Unfortunately for me, I have been down this road before. I got a couple of D's and one F back in undergrad too. The old me would have been on the brink of going off the deep end, but not this time. As the saying goes sh!t happens. If I really want to be a doctor, I have to be willing to do everything I can to climb out of this hole (again). I can't worry about what admission committees will think at this point in time. I need to be short sighted for a while focusing on 1. doing as well as I can on the Physics 2 final 2. work on my food addiction 3. exercise regularly 4. retake and ONLY take Orgo Chem 1 next semester (Since I am going to be working full-time, I think this is more of a rational choice rather than simply a cautious one).
If becoming a doctor is my dream... if this is my passion, I am not going to let this bump in the road hold me back (again). I've battled (and continue to battle) depression, anxiety, and food addiction, and I am still standing. So whatever happens for this semester happens, and I move on.
So my question to you (blogger world), have you had any setbacks in achieving your dreams, academic or otherwise? If so, what helped you? What motivated you to keep going?
